Intimacy

Friday, January 7, 2011Intimacy


I just came back from the third night of "10 Days of Prayer" our church is doing. A woman there broke down and sobbed during her prayer and then opened up about the deep struggles she has been facing. Our Pastor put a chair in the middle of the circle and placed her there. We gathered around her holding her and placing our hands on her and praying intercessory prayer for her and her situation. She sobbed. After the prayer we felt blessed because of her. She made herself vulnerable so that we could gather around her - be let in and share her grief and prayer for her. It was amazing. I knew the Holy Spirit was there and telling us all what to pray for on her behalf. It was an intimate moment.

My husband, Don, was extremely sick last summer. You can read about it on my blog at http://www.gammasusie.blogspot.com/. Just scroll back to June and July of 2010. One day he left work a strong man and he came home in the afternoon and collapsed. He couldn't do anything for himself. My life changed in an instant. I stopped thinking about the next meal, cleaning the house, or doing the laundry and taking care of my grandsons to just thinking about him and his needs. I stayed very close to him throughout that time.

My son stayed with Don during the first hospital stay but Don said to Josh that I was the only one that knew how to do it right. I thank Josh for helping because I so needed the rest.

During the third hospital stay when Don had his surgery I was sitting on the couch waiting for him to let me know if there was something he needed. The nurse came in and told Don that he had micro perforations in his bowls and he couldn't have anything to eat or drink. Poor Don was so thirsty. Then she said, "Don! you are on the precipice. " She was telling him the gravity of the situation. I followed her out of the room and asked her what she meant. She said this was extremely serious and they were doing all they could.

I went out into a garden on the hospital grounds and sobbed to God. "I can't live without him, Lord. Don't take him from me." I called my mom and sobbed to her. She prayed the most beautiful prayer as I cried softly. It was like she was holding me in her arms. I calmed myself and went back into the room.

A few days after Dons surgery he moved to the couch. It was difficult but he came over and sat by me. With all the tubes attached and his IV pole beside him he put his arms around me. I leaned into his shoulder and it was as though he was comforting me. At that time we both were on the same page. We knew we loved each other and would be there for each other always. It was the most intimate moment I have had in our married life.

I am not a huggy person and I don't do much in the way of affirmation. It doesn't come easy for me. I have to work on it to make myself aware of others needs and respond accordingly. I can be so much better. God wants us to be intimate with Him. He longs for it. David wrote in Psalm 61:1-4, "Hear my cry, O God' attend to my prayer, from the end of the earth I will cry to You, when my heart is overwhelmed; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For You have been a shelter for me, a strong tower from the enemy. I will abide in Your tabernacle forever. I will trust in the shelter of Your wings." This is intimacy with God. God's response is, “ Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore with loving kindness I have drawn you." Intimacy.